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Where it all Begins

I wanted to start a blog and share stories that are like an interactive Diary. My goal is share what life is like with all the raw and deep emotions that goes along with living. At times it may be dark, but I feel like there are people that need this safeguard so they know they are not the only one needing support. Life has it’s ups and downs but it can always transition into something more and I want people to know that just because the back story isn’t pretty does not mean that the end product won’t be. This is only the beginning and I know that from this stand point the end seems far and things will change and some goals may be altered but it will all start with this giant step.

*To be continued.

Air

Breathe….. But how?

Every day passes, but there is never anything that sticks out. I’ve been longing to be your center. Anxious for your eyes to see me. Begging for the chance to love you.

Every day we are stuck in routine. A thing people forget about it, but it runs each of our lives.  Work, there’s always a need for us. Can’t  break away. What is there left for us to do? 

Your life is mine, but here we are now, all we know is how we sleep. The sounds of our quiet breathes before we are to wake again. Sleep, Work, Eat, Repeat.

I miss us! I feel prisoner to this cycle, and a stranger to our love. 

Lives continue, people grow harsher, kids seem too grown, and grown ups are so distant from the here and now.  The wind blows around us as we stand, motionless. The earth seems to spin at an acclerated pace, yet here our worlds are slowing.

I reach out to touch you, but your being is fuzzy. Your voice is distant, your skin nonexistent. I turn to our mirror, i am bearly visable. My hand touches my face trying to smooth out this fuzz. What have we become?

This world spins so fast we can hardly move through it. Afraid to break away from our routine because it took so long to get there. Afraid of how we will be able to recover if a mistake were present. 

I need to escape and drag you with me! Our lives cannot just be this fuzz,  we need the colors of our sun to heal us. We need the wind to take us, rejuvenate us. Rain to cleanse us, and we need the sand to groud us. 

Today is a breath of fresh air, away from the fuzz and the speed of our world. We stand hand on hand, grounded as we recover. Breathing our lives in. Love is what has brought us here, to focus on what matters most. 

Today is a newer day. Away from our routine, away from the empty feelings, away from this hopelessness we harbor. Today we breathe together.

Bonus Creative Corner!

Enjoy!

You guys asked for it and here it is. I present you my creative thoughts on the lyrics “Time” by Pink Floyd thanks to https://cariboucrossingsak.wordpress.com/.

“Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
Fritter and waste the hours in an off-hand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way

Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun

And you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it’s sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in a relative way, but you’re older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death”

We are the future of this planet, no matter what age. As a whole we tend to get through this time kicking dirt around not sure where we should go or what our purpose may be. We don’t realize that we have accomplished nothing until it is too late. Regrets come to eat us alive just because we could not decide if we were supposed to make difference. Never knowing when we are going to take the stairs six feet down, we start to panic. Anxiety takes hold and we stay in this depression of wondering who we are. Thing is, we cannot wait for someone here to show us where to go with our lives. Our purpose is to spread love and compassion; however you feel that you can complete this purpose is completely deemed by you. Every waking moment you can spend it spreading love and helping someone stop kicking around the dirt of time and get them to look up so they can find out how our path is so easy to find.

Don’t spend your life trying to catch up to others, or wish you were in their shoes. Life has it’s purpose for you and if you spend the rest of you days chasing what is not your, you are sure to perish a lonely death. Along with this you will miss all the rewards that had always been waiting to be bestowed upon you. Focus on loving who you are and spread this with your words. Encourage others and be that rock that people will need to step up in their lives.

Creative Corner: Week 1!

First poem like this I ever wrote, let’s see how this goes!

Here is the first “Creative Corner” post. Thanks to claireyangwrites.wordpress.com and their idea for a Harry Potter Lyrical Poem.

Enjoy!

 

The World is a dark place.

Half the world doesn’t understand these gifts.

Half the world hides their gifts from the rest.

Then the rest uses their gifts for evil.

What a world we live in.

 

Children dying from this dark magic.

Mothers pleading, Mothers sacrificing.

Fathers dying trying to protect them.

Armies rising to fight the darkness.

All this for one child?

 

Madness has overcome this dirt.

Only hope in a small child.

Hope this child will grow up strong and protect us.

Such a great feat he must endure.

But we must hope!

 

Years of chaos, years of deaths, years of fallen men.

The days are bleak, but this boy continues to grow.

He learns his strengths and what he can do.

His friends push him to greatness.

They carry him when he can no longer continue.

 

Yet, it is he that must go on alone.

Face this darkness alone.

Be the voice of all the fallen.

Walking in to battle he fears nothing,

His death will be swift.

 

Right when it all comes crashing down,

You are there.

Holding him, protecting him once like before.

The light of the fallen shield his soul.

The light that never died.

 

Here he stands.

Light prevails the darkness.

The people finally take their breath.

Their first free breath.

For light has prevailed!

Heartless World

Without Love, There is no Hope.

Darkness covers this ground, slowly engulfing this land and it’s people. Why have we let this happen? The media has put us in blinders, and it did not just happen! Leaders and celebrities are put in front of us to make us believe how we are supposed to live. With everyday that passes we are living and acting like zombies. Attached to a life that comes in the form of a rectangular device. We never seem to look away and help ourselves live.

Days of fist fights are over. We rage war again issues that never mattered and persecute those who are different. Lives are destroyed out of habit, but truth is, this land was built off of the differences of people. Faces that blend together because we are one in the same. Looking for love in all the wrong places and holding onto this made up fact that love hurts.

Truth be told, man hurts man with actions and words. We need to be held accountable for the things that are happening in the world today. Make a stand today, whether it be keeping hateful comments to yourself or stopping a fight.  Never lose sight in the peace we all crave. We need to teach each other that Love does exists.

Don’t know how?

1 Corinthians 13:4-9

 

Question Time!

Everyone needs a little help here and there.

Hello Everyone!

I’m going to start opening Tuesday’s as Muse day. Give me a topic or song for me to write about, make a poetic turn on it and I will post it on Fridays. Let me know what you would like to read and I can create it! I will pick the person’s idea and I will tag you in it. This will be known as the “Creative Corner”.

Example Topic:

1.) Song Lyrics

2.) Movie

3.) Book

4.) Social Setting

Let’s try it out!

Chapter 5: Break Through

Just when you think it’s over.

As months passed, hope for new work faded. Every day that passed I was just demeaned even more. I just was over an done with that environment and just did not care anymore. Life was passing way to slow, and nights never seemed to last. It made it hard to be happy about anyone or anything.  Still, when I could squeeze in the time or effort I would quietly send out my resume to any place that would just take my resume. It seemed like forever before I would finally get a call from a potential interview.Upon returning a voicemail, I was able to schedule an interview for a Purchasing position for construction company. Then, after another lie, to my current employer, got me some free time to sneak away for this interview.

Finally, some hope trickled it’s way back in to my life. I knew I was going to get out of here! Slowly joy filtered through my heart and into my life and how I handled everything. Just thinking about my sweet escape kept me going. Then, interview day came, it went fairly well, and fast. I left feeling confident and knowing I aced the interview. Hell I had been to over 20 interviews, how could I not ace it? A few weeks flew by, and I heard nothing back. So finally I decided I would email the hiring manager and see what had happened. Mind you I would never do that, because I felt it would be a waste of my time. But, I knew somehow that this was my job, my place to move. Then she replies they hired someone with a more experience in purchasing. My heart sank. Here I go, stuck in this rut. Am I never to climb out?!

I made up my mind to just accept that I would never leave this horrid place. I felt I had never worked so hard in my life to find another job. Depression was next fall in place, I hated how I was stuck here, it did not make sense. Although I felt horrible for how things turned out, I knew there had to be a reason I still had to stay here. The only thing I had to look forward to was having two days off, finally I had qualified to take vacation! After three gruesome years, I could finally have some time to myself.

Then out of nowhere I get a call to start a new job. I suddenly got this brilliant idea. I could start working on the days of my vacation and it would be so awesome to just up and quit without my employer knowing! Oh the joy of sticking it to the owner for how he treated me! I knew how much it was hurt him. But, I also knew how much it would hurt the others I cared for. I must do something, but what; so I only told those I was closest too, and they held a vow of silence like no other. They knew what they were in for. As much as the boss wanted me to believe I was a nobody I knew I did so much for his company that without me production would fall to shambles. He grew accustomed to way work flowed with me there, so it would come to a slower pace on how things would be run.

Everyone had their expiration date for working there, and mine was years past good. We said our farewells the Friday before I would never be returning. Certain people would miss me, but they had to mentally prepare for the new week ahead. I thanked them for their friendship and support, but we all knew it was time. Monday would be the start of my new job and I would finally get a breath of fresh air.

It’s funny how things turn out, how we never see the bigger picture and we just start to feel pity on ourselves for how much our lives suck and woes to us. But, no one ever seems to talk about how our lives changed for the better. The job I got, it was the job they had found someone with more experience, the one I knew was my job. Turns out this was always mine and God put it in my heart to know it and get through the last few months with hope to give me strength. That job needed to be ready for me, and I was not going to get it until it was just right for me.

I went from being a know nothing, should not think for myself, but do everything because you are the only one smart enough to do it, to I have my own office, my own phone, two screened computer, and micro managing a million dollar logistics department.

Thing is, I had to go through this job so that my work ethic stayed solid, if not better then what I had imagined because I would need it to succeed in this new environment. There is so much that needs to be done without faults or delays and I never would have been ready for this job, for this work load if it was not for my first job.

I thank God for giving me my first job, and I am even more grateful for this job. I feel like I can accomplish anything, but it all starts with a purpose. Even though we may never see it. Just trust me and have faith that your time will come. You will get out of the hole, you will find your peace after the fire. Keep your head up and mind focused on what matters, Love, Family, Faith, but above all God.

It feels funny to end this story because it is not quite over yet, but that my friends is the end of how I worked with the devil.

Just A Little Too Much

Don’t forget to Focus.

When life feels like it’s too much to deal with, go outside to focus.

Focus? On what?

On yourself, focus on your heart rate, on your breathing.

Focus on the sky, let the wind take you.

Focus on the sun and how it grazes your skin.

Close your eyes and let the rays absorb your being.

Breathe in the air around you, it’s yours for the taking!

Focus on the clouds and how they stand still, and how they migrate.

Walk across the ground and focus on the trees, and grass that follows your path.

Listen to the birds that fill the sky with their songs.

Don’t stop  walking until you find a flower.

Why? Because when life gets to be too much you have to stop and find yourself.

When life gets too much, remember, you are not worth losing.