Single Parenthood

Dear Friend,

Your life is what you live.

Your words express your life.

Don’t get it twisted, I’m not here to judge.

I am your friend.

People don’t want to be told the truth for one main reason.

It hurts.

Don’t get it twisted, I am your friend.

I’ve watched you create a bond with them, you have kids with them.

You are strong.

You are hard headed.

You are vocal.

But that does not stop you from being just that.

They leave because the grass seems greener elsewhere.

You say you don’t need them.

You are a parent. Your kids need you.

Yet, here you stand in bar, at a club.

Your kids don’t know their name.

Three years old and they cannot speak a single word.

Yet, here you stand saying you don’t need their father.

But, your actions scream you are hurting.

Don’t let them see your tears, so you run to the bar and find a replacement.

Dear Friend,

I’ve broken it down for you, but can you see it? Do you understand what I am asking you to see? You are not the only person in the world who is a single parent. You are not the only one suffering. Take a step back, gather your bearing, suck up those tears, and put your adult pants on. Your kids need you! Stop looking for their replacement! Stop looking for love! Love your kids in the way they need it! Show them their ABC’s, show them it’s okay to mess up, show them that this many fingers is how many years old they are.

I am your friend this is why I tell you this. You can get as angry as you wish, but remember if you stop talking to me I will not die.  If you stop talking to your kids they will die a slow and painful death. You cannot find someone to make you happy. You have to find ways to make yourself happy, and from my stand point you have two people that need your love. Show them what love is all about, because without your guidance they will be forever lost. No one said being a single parent was easy, nor did they say it was going to kill you. Being a parent calls for so much more then this society tell us.

Social media is making it seem like it is your duty to post, “our day at the park” so you are okay with how you are raising your kids. Do not post this because we both know that you are sitting on a bench scrolling through other people lives while your kids play alone without your undivided attention. Put the phone down and show your kids how the monkey bars work and if they fall off show them how to dust off an try again. Show them it’s not okay to push the other kids off the rides, show them how to share a swing.

Don’t pretend, just for the sake of others wondering if your life is great. Being a parent is not all it’s cracked up to be when it comes to what others think. You raise your kids as best as you can, and that’s all you can hope and pray for. But if you don’t even try, that’s were I come in. Please wake up and see no one will make you as happy as your kids. No one will love you like your kids. Don’t waste your life looking for something that obviously is not yours. God took that distraction away so you can focus on what really matters, but it is your choice to open your eyes and see.

Don’t be that parent that says I wish we did this fifteen years ago, be the parent that says remember when we did this fifteen years ago.

6 thoughts on “Single Parenthood

  1. This is beautiful. I really enjoyed your tone and the words you chose for this piece. Often times the people who “hurt” us they most are the ones who love us the most and only want to see us grow and better ourselves. Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 3 people

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