It seems like when I walk around, nobody sees me.
I say hi or hello to the ones I see everyday at work.
I scroll through the faces from my past.
No one says hello.
Not unless spoken to.
I try to connect because frankly I crave connection.
Connection with friends, family, strangers.
Funny thing is, no one cares to connect unless it’s with the internet or booze.
People have to be crazy and outgoing to have friends.
You have to be interesting and funny for people to look your way.
What about me?
I like to drink, in a quiet setting with blankets and a book.
I enjoy being vocal, but with a bold pen and recycled paper.
I love music, but the type that makes me feel.
I love people, but they scare me.
I drown my silence with darkness; they drown it in habits.
I sit alone with my fears, while they run from them.
My tears are the rivers you all swim in.
All that I give to you I call friends, all goes unnoticed.
Never good enough for you.
What if I stopped texting you,
Stopped calling you,
What would you do?
What if I vanished and no one knew my name.
Would you see me for me?
Or would I be another blur you erased from your memory.
Will I be forever forgotten, because no one knew my name.